For the Doubters, Haters and Naysayers

My life hasn’t been picture perfect. Yet, my blessings have been, and continue to be innumerable.

I’m what one might call a “late bloomer.” I dropped out of college right after High School and pursued acting, performing in local productions, and working with an improv troupe for several years. All the while, I was building my talents as a hairdressing waitress, with a penchant for mixing up delightful cocktails, and provoking endless amounts of fun. I parlayed that into a nice management position at a high-end steakhouse, with a regular clientele, and a close-knit staff. Very good times…

I began seriously dating my future ex-husband in 2000, (who I shall affectionately refer to as FEX from here on) and we eventually ventured off into our own business, in the home improvement field. The housing market was soaring in NY, (mind you this was around 2002) and FEX and I were living it up…vacations, parties, weekend getaways and the like. More good times…

We got the house in the middle-class neighborhood, got married, and had 2 healthy, beautiful babies. A boy then a girl. Picture perfect. Um. No.

Fast forward to 2008ish. The housing market was in a drastic, downward spiral and seemingly took our business and financial security with it, in what seemed like a blink. Eventually, our marriage was to follow suit.

Still trying to hold it all together, I returned to school, in 2010. Having already attained my Associates Degree while working at that fine Steakhouse, I began to chip away at my Bachelors in English (of course) in hopes of becoming a teacher. I was an excellent student, and the go-to editor, for my friends and family, whether they needed a letter, or a college paper written. I thought becoming a teacher would be the answer to our financial woes.

That is when FEX declared that he was unhappy and wanted out. Our children were 2 and 4, at the time. It unraveled quickly after that. 6 months later, FEX moved out and I really wasn’t sure if I could manage life, house, children and dogs, without him.

I made a decision, that no matter what challenges were to come, I was going to make my job as a parent paramount over everything else. FEX proved a disloyal husband, but certainly does still love and provide for our children. We do get along (mostly) and work together at parenting our offspring. I still do cut hair, and waitress and bartend, and I also continue to put parenting my little ones before all else. But now, I can see clearly that I have the need to fulfill my own passions, and purpose. Yes, it is an actual NEED, and I shall honor it.

Which brings me here. I realize that it was necessary for me to be brought to and through these challenges and struggles, so that I could learn of my own strength, and astounding ability to improve myself. Because when the material things, and the plans I had made for the future were abruptly stripped from me, I was left with myself.

I get by, with a little help from my friends, and a lot of help from my family. I am quite Blessed, in both departments. But the point is, that I choose to be happy. I choose to chase my dreams. I am writing, which centers me, and makes me feel that all is right with the Universe. I am editing a wonderful book for my fabulous friend, mamalisa4, which excites me immeasurably. I am on the right path. I can feel it in my bones.

For those who have doubted or judged my decisions, I say, “Mind your own matters.” To my supporters, who have been there with an open heart, through it all, cheering me on, I say, “Thank you. You’ve made all the difference in the world to me.”



11 thoughts on “For the Doubters, Haters and Naysayers

  1. mamalisa4 says:

    Wow! This is an amazing story which depicts your resilience and strength! Your honesty is courageous and admirable and many people can relate to some aspect of it, if not all. 2008ish was difficult for us too. I think that ultimately we all just want to know that we are not alone in our experiences and its going to be okay. I am inspired that you were able to navigate through difficult times and allowed it to transform you into the person you were meant to be, rather than resist and hold onto anger. Gratitude is what will always see you through anything and I agree, if your not going to be supportive, then mind your own business!!! You’re negativity has no place here!!! Onward and upward – To a better day and following your dreams!!! xoxoxoxox Love this!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • vickiewhat says:

      As one of my favorite people, and biggest supporters, your feedback means the world to me. It is difficult to let go of the fear and anger sometimes, but I am grateful for the awareness to recognize it, so i can work towards releasing it and moving forward each day. Cheers to better days, my dear friend. Thank you. xo

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Love how you pour your heart into your writing with transparency!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Awwww, thanks! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Certainly a “Hell Yeah!” read! (Do you mind if I reblog?)
    I can not begin to tell you how this relates and therefore how it has given me the insight that it is okay to, in sorts, “to distance those who are not supportive.” “Cause those that matter to judge and those that judge don’t have to matter!
    I love this! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • vickiewhat says:

      Thank you Viva! Its too easy to judge, ot to give a pass to our ‘judgy’ friends and family. Your quote is true….our most valuable allies are those who simply give their love and support, whether we are up or down. You are that type of friend always V. 😘 I’d be honored if you reblogged.


  5. Victoria Dragomirova says:

    Hello 🙂 I nominated you for Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Here is the link:

    This story resonates with me. We must never give up and follow our true self. Cheers 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. […] am elated that my peers are taking the time to read about my “adventures,” as I navigate life as a single-Mom, and “scorned woman,” seeking the […]


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